Five Things I’ve Learned From Watching Steve Harvey Host Family Feud

For as long as I’ve had a DVR and a day job, there have been random daytime shows that I’ve recorded while at the office. I think it started with The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Always loved the way she treated her audience, her corny sense of humor. She seemed to have fun with her guests, too, whether it be getting them to pose in her signature underwear or joining her in her daily dances. She rocks.

Then, in a move that’s even incredulous to me, I started DVRing Vegas. Yes, Vegas. The show that comedian Aziz Ansari joked that even the folks who starred on that show don’t watch. Hey, it was light and fun entertainment. Easy on the brain. Right. But still, I DVRed it. #shootmenow

These days, it’s all about the syndicated version of Family Feud starring Steve Harvey. Yup. Not sure when it started (it was probably after winter break), but every day I come home, see what Tony and Mike are yelling about on PTI, and then it’s on to the two episodes of FF that aired earlier in the day.

Judge me. Please. But within those two thirty minute segments, I’ve found myself learning a LOT. That’s why it’s my pleasure to present to you Five Things I’ve Learned From Watching Steve Harvey Host Family Feud.

Top FIVE answers on the board. Heh.
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5. The Host With The Most… Dumb Expressions.
No, for real. At least three times during each show, a contestant will give an answer or make a statement that ol’ Steve has “never heard of.” #hiswords I’d be embarrassed if I was him, but hey, he seems to wear that ignorance as a badge of honor. So far be it from me to stop laughing when it happens. He wants me to. Nay, needs me to. So, I will.

4. Forbidden ‘Neck’-tar.
That’s his “thing.” Just like my long lost cousin Richard Dawson‘s “thing” was to kiss all the ladies on the show–no matter who or what they looked like–Steve’s thing is to fix the ties of the men. And as much as I realize that kissing someone is as close as you can get, every time I see him reach for a person’s neck (tie), it makes me squirm thinking that he’s invading their personal space. #willshrug

3. Wait… What?
With questions like “Name a body part that deserves to be licked,” or “Name a reason why a wife would want to kiss her husband,” or “Name something you wouldn’t want your family to discover after you’ve died,” I find myself cringing to see what they’ll come up with left. It’s a written car wreck that you can’t turn away from, especially after hearing some of the responses given by the families. When asked to “name a reason why a woman wouldn’t have sex with her husband,” one woman answered, “Because he didn’t take out the trash.” Dead. Which, actually, was one of the answers of the 100 people surveyed. #thishappened

2. Tongue Diss.
It’s downright blatant the way Steve changes up his language depending on which family he’s speaking to. A white family will get a version of speech as close to the Queen’s English as possible by our silver-tongued host, with words uttered so precisely (and a bit condescendingly), you’d think he was auditioning for a role in a Shakespeare play. With a Black family, though? Welp, that’s when Steve reverts to his countrified, a pimp named slickback speak, playfully jousting with family members and shortening his words enough to make them almost indecipherable. It’s off-putting at best. Ignorant and unnecessary at worst. #mightdontmakeit

1. Lawd-Suit.
Seriously, it’s like they spawn in his dressing room while he’s taping. In every color imaginable. No, for real. And trust me, I recognize and respect the fact that Steve is well-groomed and casket sharp while on camera, but dammit if some of those suits look like they belong on a man whose obituary is being rendered. From the dizzying array of pinstripes to the “why-leave-any-off” amount of buttons consumed by the suits in his collection, it’s almost distracting enough to make you miss the fact that Steve is in a little bit over his head with this hosting gig. #justsayin
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Whatever it is, I love it. And look forward to seeing it every day. Watching Steve host one of my favorite all time game shows makes me feel smarter every time I hear him fumble a simple word, or try and make small talk, or have to give the contestant a pass during Fast Money when he wastes their precious seconds while laughing. Give me more, I say.

Clearly I’ve got a lot more to learn.

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